19. Bedroom
It only takes a minute to make your bed right after you get up in the morning and will make the whole room look more organized instantly. Only keep the book you're reading right now on your nightstand. Store all others in a bookcase or storage bin. And form the habit of throwing clothes in the hamper immediately and your bedroom will be a place of rest not chaos.
20. Closet
Ladies - we only wear 20% of what's in our closet. That means that 80% is just sitting there. If you want to truly organize your closet get in a very ruthless frame of mind and take EVERYTHING out of the closet. Try everything on and only put back what fits and you like. If it doesn't fit give it away or put in a bin but DO NOT put back in your closet.
21. Closet
Organize your closet by articles of clothing. All pants together, skirts together, blouses together. Then color code within each group hanging light to dark. You can then see at a glance how many black pants you have and know that no matter how good the sale is on black pants- you don't need anymore.
www.elizabethhagen.com
Friday, August 21, 2009
Monday, August 17, 2009
Person Centered Comments & Criticism
There are several ways to deal with an issue in the home or workplace. You can talk about the issue, or you can shift the conversation to the personal characteristics, motives, expertise, and conduct of the other person. When you make comments about a person's conduct, expertise, etc. (usually negative) you shift the situation to an attack/defend one, even if that isn't what you intended to do.
Most person centred comments contain the word "YOU" as the subject, or prominent in the comment. Examples:
"You aren't listening" (one of the best ways to get someone to really not listen)
"You don't know what you are talking about"
"Who are you to tell me"
"Can't you just be quiet for a minute?" Note that this isn't really a question but a tricky way of asking someone to shut up)
"Have you even read the report?" (another you statement dressed up in a question)
All of these are examples of person centred comments and criticism. Regardless of your intent, or even if you try to soften the blow by saying something like "Please don't take this personally but... the outcome is going to be a heated discussion with a whole lot of energy wasted. You may not intend to create a conflict but the use of person-centred comments is almost guaranteed to start arguments.
The way you communicate is the primary determinant of whether the person you are interacting with will listen and think about what you say, be indifferent to it, OR, fight like heck against it. We've made a list of the most common, and detrimental ways of communicating that usually completely block the communication process.
Needless to say, if you want to reduce arguments, and have your position heard and considered, whether at home or at work, these approaches should be avoided.
Most person centred comments contain the word "YOU" as the subject, or prominent in the comment. Examples:
"You aren't listening" (one of the best ways to get someone to really not listen)
"You don't know what you are talking about"
"Who are you to tell me"
"Can't you just be quiet for a minute?" Note that this isn't really a question but a tricky way of asking someone to shut up)
"Have you even read the report?" (another you statement dressed up in a question)
All of these are examples of person centred comments and criticism. Regardless of your intent, or even if you try to soften the blow by saying something like "Please don't take this personally but... the outcome is going to be a heated discussion with a whole lot of energy wasted. You may not intend to create a conflict but the use of person-centred comments is almost guaranteed to start arguments.
The way you communicate is the primary determinant of whether the person you are interacting with will listen and think about what you say, be indifferent to it, OR, fight like heck against it. We've made a list of the most common, and detrimental ways of communicating that usually completely block the communication process.
Needless to say, if you want to reduce arguments, and have your position heard and considered, whether at home or at work, these approaches should be avoided.
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